I'm Not Ready For You to Go Away
by livithebookworm
Summary: A re-write of that last Spuffy scene. Oneshot.


She could see that the beam was burning him from the inside. She imagined him in flames, laughing as he died, turning to ash on the cavern floor, the cave above him collapsing, forming his tomb.  
She looked into his eyes, saw that he was ready to die, and realized just how unready she was for him to go.  
"I love you," she said.  
He smiled weakly.  
"No, you don't," he said. "But thanks for saying it."  
She looked at him searchingly, trying to judge the reasoning behind his words. Was he trying to get her to let him go, to leave him down here, and run for safety?  
It seemed like a reasonable theory, but when she saw his rueful expression she realized that he truly didn't believe her.  
She reached for his hand, resting her palm against his.  
A slow steady flame started burning, enveloping both their hands. Though it did not burn her, the heat alone was painful.  
"Spike, I know that it feels right for it to end here. It feels easy. You can't imagine what it would be like if you didn't die here. You can't imagine living past this moment…"  
"The hardest thing in this world is to live in it," Spike grunted, a wry smile on his lips.  
"Those who deal in death have a death wish," she returned.  
Spike winced in pain and the beam spilling out of his chest seemed to burn slightly brighter.  
"Doesn't change the facts, pet," he said. "There's a mouth of hell here needs to be dealt with."  
"Leave the Hellmouth, Spike, you've done enough." There was a desperate note in Buffy's voice.  
"Need… to see… this through…" he was panting slightly.  
Buffy threaded her fingers through his, squeezing tightly.  
"Since when did you get so selfless?" she asked softly.  
"Not… selfless," Spike protested, managing to sound insulted even through his pain. "It's… all about you, Buffy. As long as the Hellmouth is active, you and… your Scoobies are going to be tethered to Sunnydale."  
"If you die here, I'll be tethered to Sunnydale, anyway."  
Spike frowned.  
"You're not making… any sense."  
And suddenly Buffy knew what she had to do to make him come with her.  
"I love fighting beside you. I love your sense of humour, the way you see. I love your heart, your soul, your hair…" she smiled.  
"I love the man who fought to be deserving… I, I think I even loved the monster who fought to be a man. I love so many things about you that I used to hate."  
She could feel a tear rolling down her cheek.  
"I love you, and I'm not ready for you to go away. I'd rather spend the rest of my life on a hellmouth than have you gone."  
The hand that was not clutching hers went to her cheek- it was feverishly hot but Buffy barely even noticed.  
"Oh," Spike said.  
He looked at her, hope making his eyes shine bright.  
"You mean it?"  
Not sure if she could find her voice, she nodded.  
His thumb stroked her cheek, brushing the tear away, and he took a deep ragged breath.  
"You sure you choose me over a lifetime of not fighting hell-beasts?"  
"I'm sure," she said quietly.  
"Alright then," he said, and releasing her, his hands went to the amulet at this neck, yanking it free.  
He staggered slightly as the amulet hit the floor, and Buffy rushed forward to help him.  
He looked at her cautiously.  
"This isn't the part when you tell me 'April Fools', is it?" he asked, and Buffy could hear the real uncertainty in his voice.  
"It's not April," she replied, and kissed him.  
His lips still burned with the heat of his soul, making the kiss different to any other they had shared. The kiss deepened, as he wound an arm around her waist, pulling her closer, so her body pressed against him…  
The cavern ceiling above them made an ominous cracking sound, and they broke apart reluctantly.  
"We'd best be going, love. I'm not sure this place is structurally sound."  
They turned, heading for the stairs. Spike paused to scoop up the discarded amulet.  
"Peaches might be wanting this back," he said, by way of explanation.  
The ceiling groaned again, and they set off running.


End file.
